Part 68: A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall

PART 68: A HARD RAIN’S GONNA FALL


[After all the sordid filth in Update 66, I think it’s time for a wholesome, family-friendly update. Let’s go to church.]



“The one who repents, who has faith unshaken by the darkness of the world, and roasts not, nor gloats over the misfortunes of the weak, but takes delight in the Maker's law and creations--"

"Boasts." It's "boasts," Sister, not "roasts."

“She shall know the peas of the Maker's benediction. The Light shall lead her safely through the paths of this world, and into the next."

Peace, Sister, peace. "She shall know the peace of the Maker's benediction."



“The Veal holds no uncertainty for her, and she will know no fear of death, for the Maker shall be her bacon and her shield, her foundation and her--"

There’s no veal in the Chant!

...You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

I liked her version of the Chant better.

Me too. I wonder why nobody ever taught me her version of the Chant when I was a templar.

Oh, hello dear. Can we help you?



Ahem. What she means is, "In Andraste's name, be welcome."

Stop correcting me! What would Andraste do? That‘s what you should be concerned with, I say! And Andraste was no fussbudget!

What are you doing?

Arguing, mostly.

Praying for the good people of Denerim who've lost loved ones at Ostagar. It's usual to recite a stanza from Transfigurations when you pray for the departed.

It’s usual to recite the stanza correctly.



But that’s what I said?

Can you tell me about the Chant?

Tell you about the Chant? What, as if it's a cake you might buy? "Well, it's done enough, but a little too much nutmeg for my taste..."

Sister! Instructing the ignorant is a sacred duty of the Chantry!

Fine then! What do you want to know?

A good cake recipe would be a start.

What was that verse you were reciting just now?



It's the tenth stanza from the Transfigurations. Lovely canticle, that one.

You should have heard Brother Caedmon sing it, though!

He sang it well, I take it?

He had a voice like a bucket full of toads. Revered Mother Boann, bless her heart, always said, "If we had more voices like his, the Maker couldn't fail to take note of us."

What happened to him?

It was tragic, really. Such a surprise…

We don’t speak of that.

He died?



He was in charge of the lyrium storehouse. It wasn't... good for him, you see.

He took off all his clothes in the middle of the Chant one Summerday and ran into the street.

He tripped and fell into the vat of elderberry wine for the feast, and drowned. We were six days drying him out for his cremation... he looked like a pickled egg. So tragic...

…

Highly amusing.

So… Does the Chant mention dwarves?



Why would it?

Sister! That's hardly appropriate! There's no need to be rude to anyone, even if they are ignorant and godless!

I’m not ignorant and godless!

Of course not, dear. You just don't know anything about the Chant and you don't have any gods.

I… uh…

Oooooh!



Right. What does the Chant say about darkspawn?

Oh, there are some very stirring canticles about doom and wrath...

Darkspawn were created by mankind's second sin: pride.



"Arrogance became a great caged beast in the lands of Tevinter, an emptiness that consumed all, and could never be filled."

"To satisfy its hunger, the mage-lords assaulted the Golden City, heart of all creation, to take the Maker‘s power for themselves."

Why does no one ever sing the good stanzas during Chantry services anymore? They speak them! It's called, "The Chant of Light" not, "The Speech of Light"!

Sister! Would you kindly stop messing up the Chant?

See how you like being interrupted.

Well, you get the general idea, I’m sure.

Never mind.



Now where's the fun in belonging to the Chantry if you can't proselytize to the heathens a bit?

Ahem! Blessings of the Maker and of Andraste, His bride, upon you.



[Behind those two is the Chanter’s Board for Denerim, providing violence based sidequests for all.]



[Hey, this one’s from our old pal, Sgt. Kylon. Let’s help him out again.]



[I mentioned this in the last update, but each of the crossed swords symbols on the map contains a battle against a street gang. Kill all the gangs, win a prize!]



[Let’s get on with it.]



[The fights are all basically the same. One strong Gang Leader, a couple of weak Thugs and a bunch of archers hanging back. Easiest thing to do is lure the melee fighters away from the archers and deal with each group individually.

Bianca’s at a high enough level now that enemy archers gain Scattershot, a group stun ability. This is phenomenally irritating to fight against, so it’s best to take care when fighting large groups.]



[One of the fights starts with a conversation for some reason.]



You? We were about to send the boys to hunt you down.

Maybe you should send the men instead.

Boss says kill ‘em!



I already regret this.



Mission accomplished. Good job, team.

Nothing like a little positive reinforcement after gutting a man.



Huh. I wonder who this is?

Did the gangs get him?



Who ya gonna call?

The authorities?

Well, yeah, but then we’d miss out on the looting.





That is the single least hidden hidden door I have seen in my entire life.



Open up, we’re _{tangentially associated} with the City Watch.

You’ll never take us alive, copper!



[So, this dungeon, yeah?]



[It’s a strange one. I mean, there’s nothing actually odd about it, it’s just a collection of rooms and fights, but still…]



[It’s too big, or at least it’s bigger than you’d expect for a completely plotless sidequest. And there’s traps and ambushes and clever positioning and so on. Someone put effort in on this.

Makes me think it was intended to be a part of a greater quest that got cut.]



What is that stuff on the floor?

Reminds me of the Pearl.





I know not how you've survived thus far.



Is it luck or providence?

Aren’t they the same thing?

…

…

No matter, you will not survive... this!



[The blood mage is really powerful, and has some mercenary pals to help. Beating him senseless as quickly as possible is the key to victory.]



The good news is that he is dead. The bad news is that my hair has gone all frizzy.



[Returning to the Chantry, we can claim our reward for murdering all those gangs.

Also, ham.]



Blessed are the peacekeepers, champions of the just.

[The sisters always say that when you complete a quest for them.]



[Sgt. Kylon said he had another job for us last time, so let’s go see him again.]



Good to see you back.

Need any more help?

I've got complaints in the Gnawed Noble Tavern that some mercenaries have "invaded."

Nothing violent has happened; the sellswords are probably just disturbing the nobles' rarefied conversation.



Just drum the louts out of there. The barkeep doesn't mind some blood--or "sport," as she called it.

Captain said, "Denerim won't miss a few dead mercenaries." Do what you will, and good luck.





[This is the violent barkeep Kylon mentioned, the charming Edwina.

No relation to the equally charming Edwina from Baldur’s Gate 2.]



What are you looking at? We're the Crimson Oars.

The Crimson Oars?

Metal Gear?

You haven't heard of us? We are mercenaries, from all over the world!

We have won many battles. And tonight we drink before the next!

(Persuade) And you drink here? The docks has much better bars.



We happen to like the ale better, here. The wine, too. Less vomit on the floor.

So long as we‘re paying, they're serving! (Laughs)

(Persuade) Wouldn't you prefer a bar with more women? "Friendly” ones?

(Laughs) You may have a point. Bar woman, you and your women are too old and shrivelled! Too many damned clothes! Right, boys? (Laughs)

Oars, we go to the docks! Let's find us some wenches!



We’ll probably have to go clear them out of the Pearl next.

Then we can just persuade them to come back here. And so on and so forth.

By the stone, it’s the perfect money making scheme!

We do still have a world to save, remember?

Right, right.





Edwina sends her thanks for getting rid of the Crimson Oars.

Mind you, she's disappointed there was no fighting.

Here's payment. You've helped out a great deal.



[If you complete both Kylon’s quests and his Chanter’s Board request, you get a special bonus.]



The Market District is a whole sight better because of what you've done for us.

I know this may not be much, but it's an extra thanks.

[It’s another 4 gold sovereigns.]

A lot of folk swallow whatever lies are fed to them, but us believers will try and spread word about you and the Wardens.

You’re alright, Kylon. I sincerely hope you don’t get murdered in your sleep by Loghain’s minions.

Thanks!




NEXT TIME: An Invitation to... Murder!

NEW CODEX CONTENT:
The Qunari
The Chant of Light: Redemption